Sex is a natural, healthy and pleasurable part of life, so it’s not surprising that we dream about it. What is surprising, especially in this sexually liberal society, is that only about eight percent of our dreams are sexual.
In an often cited Montreal sex dreams research project conducted in the early part of the last decade, it was found that forty-five percent of men and forty-one percent of women participating in the study reported having sex dreams. Keep in mind that these numbers only relate to the research subjects. In other studies it was estimated that one hundred percent of men reported having sex dreams and eighty-four percent of women admitted having them.
I’d venture to say that we all have had, or will have a sexual dream at one time or another.
Of the eight percent of our dreams that are sexual, there are common themes that pop up regularly in both men’s and women’s nocturnal adventures.
Mae West, the American 20th century actress, once claimed that her first erotic dream was of a bear with a reddish-brown member about fourteen inches long. “I was,” she later quipped, “modest in my demands.”
Here are the most common types of sex dreams. Read them through and see which ones you’ve had.
I wouldn’t rule out that this type of dream could be precognitive, but it’s usually not. Dreams of you or your partner being unfaithful is more likely to be about a situation or feeling where you’re not being true to yourself or your ideals/beliefs, etc.
I’m not Freud, so I won’t suggest that dreaming of breasts, whether you’re a man or a woman, is referring to an unhealthy attachment to your mother. Breasts can mean a number of things, and in order to understand their significance in the dream, you would have to look at the context and additional content of the dream.
Dreaming of male or female genitals (doesn’t matter which gender) isn’t reflecting an obsession or unhealthy attitude, but probably is a metaphor or an analogy related to reproducing something, privacy or modesty.
Highly Erotic Dreams
These kinds of dreams are common and don’t necessarily mean that you’re over-sexed or that your tastes lean more toward the kinky stuff.
Homosexuality In Dreams
Contrary to many people’s and even dream worker’s beliefs (and often fears), dreaming of sex with a same-sex partner doesn’t mean you’re homosexual (unless you are gay, then you’d just analyze this type of dream the way you would any other sexual dream). The implication is probably that you want to develop a relationship with the individual in the dream, or that you want to resolve some conflict (make-up). Of course, these are just two of several possibilities. As with any image/symbol, you have to analyze it in context.
Both men and women have these dreams, and though it’s possible that it’s a prodromal (health warning) dream, it’s more likely a dream that relates to feelings of impotence or your inability to perform in some other area of your life.
Now this type of dream is probably the one that disturbs dreamers the most. And with the exception of some kind of repressed trauma (which is very, very rare), has absolutely nothing to do with hidden or unnatural sexual feelings for a family member.
Not all kissing dreams are sexual. If you’re kissing your child, your sister, a good friend, and there’s no passion or sexual energy, then you know it’s not a sex dreams.
I pretty much can guarantee that this type of dream isn’t going to be discussed among friends. Both men and women are still very quiet on the subject of self-gratification, which is essentially what the dream message is. Do something for or to please yourself.
Though these aren’t necessarily sexual dreams, we can’t get pregnant (naturally at least) without sex, so it fits in with sex dreams. And yes, men have pregnancy dreams too. The question to ask yourself when you have this type of dream is: What am I creating (birthing), or bringing into the world?
Sex In Public
This type of dream is closely related to anxiety dreams where you’re naked in public or unprepared for a test of some kind. On the other hand, it may be an expression of your comfort with yourself, or being in the public eye.
Sex With A Celebrity
Ahhh, we can wish! Many dream workers will tell you that this type of dream is simple wish fulfillment. First of all, there’s nothing simple about dreams, and second, the celebrity may be a stand in for someone else, for a cause or talent, or showing you some role or part in your life that needs your attention.
Sex With A Stranger
Both married and single men dream of having sex with strangers more often than women do (though women dream of sex with a stranger as well). It doesn’t mean that you’re bored with your partner necessarily. Perhaps you’re looking to try something new in the bedroom, or in your life. Maybe you need to acknowledge the masculine aspects of yourself.
Sex With An Ex
This dream doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re still harbouring feeling for your ex, or that you want to reunite. Thought it could. Perhaps something in your current situation is reminding you of that relationship, or that individual. Is your hubby acting like the jerk you dumped before prom?
Sexual Assault Dreams
These are some of the most terrifying types of dreams for both men and women, though women tend to experience them much more often than men do.
Dreams of sexual encounters in less than proper places, or in less than proper ways, in no way implies that you’re looking to take a walk on the wild side. But it may be hinting at your attitude toward sex, or your current sexual relationship.
These types of dreams are enjoyable for both men and women, unless they’re part of a more disturbing type of sex dream. Teenagers have the most et dreams, but these types of dreams continue well into old age.
Sex dreams can be very pleasurable, but on the flip-side, they can be very unpleasant and downright terrifying. Because the subject is so sensitive, dreamers seem to be especially emotional, confused and/or concerned about them. As with any dream, the context and content of the sexual imagery is essential in uncovering the message your sex dream is trying to get to you. Take the time to look at all angles, rather than jump to the conclusion that it’s just about sex, or that the situation being depicted is actually what it is. Don’t let the sensitive nature of the subject matter colour your interpretation and understanding of the dream.
If you would like to learn more about your sex dreams and what they mean visit Terry Gillis, Dream Analyst’s website.